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Archive for the ‘Funny English’ Category

Funny English: Rise of the vernacular

I spotted this package of underwear during a recent trip the the US.

Its “wedgie free®” comfort guarantee made me wonder: Since when is “wedgie” a polite enough word to use in marketing? And does everyone really know what a “wedgie” is? Last but not least, am I a hypocrite for using this semi-impolite word three times in a blog entry?

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doggy dews

My aunt spotted this and sent it to me. It’s hard to imagine what the people in charge were thinking when they named their business.

Sure, there are “hairdo’s” and “do’s and don’ts” — but after the word “dog”, anything that sounds like “doo-doo” is surely a “don’t”. Don’t you think?

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I noticed this orchid in the home of a 75-year-old Swiss woman.

Judging by the care tag, it seems the garden center didn’t have a clear idea of what a table dance actually entails. It reads:

“This group of orchids includes varieties that are especially suitable as table decorations because they bloom for so long.”

I wonder if they sell bean plants that are called “pole dance”?

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Is it so bad to be close? Spotted in a puppet shop in Bern. Indeed, it was closed, which made it easy for me to snap this photo.

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The campaign for a special kind of toilet.

Admittedly, the English here is perfectly correct and not all that funny. But the ad campaign (butt-)cracks me up, at least when I’m not embarrassed to be seen with it. A magazine I was reading last week had this on its back cover; you wouldn’t believe how many startled looks I got on the train.

 
What’s even funnier is the related TV ad starring a former Miss Switzerland. They’ve got her enjoying a waterfall and singing the praises of fresh water. Is it just me, or does she look like she’s being flushed away? Click on TV-Spot mit Melanie Winiger to see for yourself.

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Guaranteed: generous portions

Spotted this sign in Langenthal, canton Bern, while looking for a place to eat. Decided this sounded more filling than a pizza! The waitress said that loosely translated,”Winn Fat” meant prosperity. We left with pleasantly full bellies plus leftovers.

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Not sure I want to go in there ...

This isn’t a real example of funny English, but I think you’ll agree it’s worth including. I passed this little place in Basel — near Barfüsserplatz – which is where it gets its nickname.

It was closed so I can’t say whether the name was fitting, but judging from the outside, I’d say it was pretty cute.

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